Operation: Vampire Children
by Yumiii
Summary: Due to 'Task 124', the vampires of the Moon Dormitory were children-fied! Now Kaname and Zero have to be the parents in taking care and keeping the kids safe, from the world and themselves XD yaoi and hopefully humorous, KXZ Complete!
1. Chapter 1

hello this is for **fun**. Don't own VK as much as i want to. this chapter isn't funny yet, but do wait for the update XB. **review** too! it's got **KanameXZero**, as we all love our sexy vampires oogling over each other. oh yes, you'll have to presume that they are together. 'Already?' you may ask... i'm too bored to do a transition phase... rating may change, depending if we sick people are going to **smex up some stuff** XD ola!

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**Operation 1: ****Task 124**

"And what is this supposed to be?" Zero asked as he fondled the object in his hand. It was the size of a perfume glass bottle, inside a green liquid swirling about.

"Just a task for you to complete", Toga replied, putting the stack of paper in his hands properly before placing it aside. "The instructions are here. Just follow it to complete your next task." He took a slip of paper out of his coat pocket and handed it to Zero.

Even before the hunter could read finish the instructions, his teacher was out the door without a single word.

Sniffing, Zero returned to the piece of paper.

_Task no. __124  
Infiltrate Moon Dormitory_

_Place bottle in main hall _

_Pull__ tab_

_Check results the next morning_

Zero knew his teacher and sometimes even Cross would hand him weird jobs or tasks. He was willing to do most of them, since the pay he got later was pretty satisfactory for a high school student. Plus, he had little intention on depending on his 'dad' for money.

The task he was given to do seemed easy enough. Although, he wondered greatly what the mission proved. Usually they would be hunting or searching, but this time it only concerned with leaving this bottle in the Moon Dormitory.

Since the pay for this simple job was more than reasonable, he agreed to it.

"Might as well get over and done with it."

Zero made his way down to the Moon Dormitory. Since it was daytime, most of the vampires ought to be asleep. He snuck in quietly and placed the bottle on the table.

"And what are you up to, Zero?"

The ex-human was so used to the sudden approaching of the pureblood, he pretty much got used to it already.

"Job", he replied, not turning around to properly greet Kaname. He stood in front of the glass table as he took a firm grip on the small tab.

Kaname stood behind and encircled his arms around the ex-human's waist. Zero lazily shifted back and took the tab off.

Almost immediately, a musky aroma filled the hall and Zero placed the bottle on the table.

"What is that?" Kaname asked.

Zero rummaged for the task sheet folded nicely in his pocket and Kaname took it, reading.

"Sounds suspicious. Any idea?" He asked again as Zero took the paper, this time just crushing it.

"Just following what it says", he sighed, feeling Kaname pull him closer against his chest.

"If someone sees…"

"They won't be breathing a word on this."

"So much for being discrete", Zero snorted.

"You know, I don't see a reason why we should be keeping this a secret. We've been together for what? Almost three months now."

Zero felt his sense of smell causing a slight nausea in his head. It could have been from the bottle he had just opened. He looked over his shoulder.

"It doesn't smell like perfume, does it?"

"Hm? What smell?" Kaname laid his chin on Zero's shoulder, the previous topic forgotten.

"You can't smell it? It sort of smells like… vinegar."

"Can't smell anything."

"And your sense of smell was supposed to be better…" Zero winced at the scent which was getting stronger. He took Kaname's hand at his middle and led the way out of the Moon Dormitory.

Kaname followed without much thought and they both stopped just outside the main doors.

"God, that stinks", Zero snorted, brushing his nose.

"I'm getting even more suspicious of the thing you left in there", Kaname commented as he looked back at the double-storey dormitory.

"Don't look at me. I was just working", Zero shrugged, his hand slowly trailing down the pureblood's arm. Kaname caught the hand and intertwined their fingers. Zero didn't mind and Kaname pulled them to somewhere a little more private.

Although it was the summer holidays, a small percentage of the students were running around, including Kaname and his famous group of vampires. Yuki was here as well, but she was handling the Sun Dormitory matters with Cross, thus Kaname was pretty confident he could get away with what he wanted right now.

"What are you up to?" Zero asked with a sigh as they took to hiding under the big tree in which Kaname liked a lot, since he could be well shielded against the sunlight.

"Nothing. I just missed you", Kaname replied as he lay back against the tree. He pulled Zero along and the ex-human was pressed up against his chest, this time facing him.

Zero snorted and placed his chin nicely in the crook of Kaname's shoulder blade. "We just saw each other last night."

"That was seven hours ago. Plus, I didn't get you to sleep with me."

"I had to run errands", Zero huffed, pulling back a little. Kaname's hands were locked at his lower back and effectively kept him remaining where he was – partially uncomfortable due to the proximity between then, yet comforting since it was the pureblood. Zero looked over his shoulder, a little wary whether anyone would pop up anytime.

Taking the chance that Zero wasn't paying attention, the brunette dropped his head and kissed the tattoo, getting a soft squeak as a response.

"Kaname!" Zero barked, a hand going for that tender spot as his face turned a little red.

"You let me", Kaname smiled a little. Zero returned with a frown, rubbing his neck absently.

As if having bitten there had not made his neck sensitive enough, Kaname would always exploit that weakness for his own advantages – especially when he had an intention of some sort.

Zero caught a hinting spark of desire and Zero's heart leapt.

"Oh no, don't even think – mmph!"

Kaname had already caught the hunter well off-guard and kissing him. Zero gave groans of protest, but had not bothered to pull away. It wouldn't work anyway. Kaname was so much stronger than he was despite his slight evolution to Level D, which supposedly made him better by several folds in comparison to his old human abilities.

Tongues and fangs were dangerously brushing against each other, close to drawing blood anytime soon. Kaname had them fully pressed against each other, every possible area coming in contact almost symmetrically to the other's. Zero moaned into the kiss, half grumbling about the pushy side of the pureblood.

Both of them stopped their little make-out session when a soft explosion was heard, and it sounded like a glass-shattering noise accompanied it. They both looked into the direction of the Moon Dormitory and glanced back at each other again, before running to the dorm.

Zero grimaced as the vinegar smell started to repel him. He was wondering why Kaname couldn't smell the horrid scent and had to end up breathing through his sleeves, arm pressed against his upper-lip.

Both vampires rushed to the door and Kaname wasted little time in opening the doors to the dormitory, even using a little of his kinetic ability to barge in. Almost immediately, a soft-green color smoke escaped through the doors, momentarily hazing the visions of the two.

The ex-human ended up coughing while Kaname, who seemed less affected, entered the hall and looked around. Under his feet, the soft, audible of crushed glass caught his attention. He looked down and found the top bit of the bottle Zero had brought in and frowned.

"Your bottle seems to have exploded", Kaname said out loud.

The smoke cleared out the door a little, clouding the floor to knee-height and Zero went over to his lover's side, staring at the cap.

"Looks like it…"

A series of shuffling caught the vampires' attention and they froze. Cautiously, Kaname let out a slight kinetic blast which made all of the smoke retreat out the door and the two were mortified by what they found hiding in the green smokes.

There were several piles of clothes pooling at the floor which had young kids in them. They ranged in ages, probably four to seven or so. All of them had shocked faces washed over and Kaname found them awfully familiar.

Zero on the other hand, was looking around and got a head count of six.

"What in the world…"

"Oh my god", Kaname suddenly said.

Zero glanced at the pureblood's face, which turned pale.

"They're the other vampires of the Night Class…"


	2. Chapter 2

**Operation 2: War with the wardrobe**

Both vampires froze at the sight of the kids with oversized clothing hanging from their shoulders and waists. Six pairs of large, beady eyes stared back at them and time seemed to stop.

"I don't suppose you're thinking what I'm thinking", Kaname cleared his throat.

"I am _so_ going to kill sensei for this…" Zero replied.

Suddenly one of the kids burst out crying and the two shielded their ears with their hands. Not long after, a few more joined in the horrendous choir and Kaname glared at Zero, although not meaning to do so.

"Do something!" He hissed. The remaining three who were not crying were following suit, not crying but screaming with equally loud voices.

"What am I to do?!" Zero snapped back with levelling annoyance. Kaname could not give a reply and he went to one of the children, picking a supposedly _him_ up. He held the boy at arm's length and was still clueless as he continued crying.

Zero seemed to have a little bit of luck when he carried a girl. She stopped crying almost immediately and he cradled her with one hand, picking another.

Kaname managed to catch a glimpse of what the ex-human had done and did the same - thankfully it worked.

When all seven kids were either distracted or busy doing something to their carriers, Zero spoke.

"Is it me or…" he asked, trailing off.

"Yes, they are very much who you think they are", Kaname finished when all the kids have finally stopped their nonsense. Currently, Zero had two in his hands and two more were latched onto his pants. Kaname on the other hand, had one in hand and with another miraculously sitting on his shoulder, legs on either side of his head and clinging to his head with his small hands.

Zero would've laughed at the pureblood if they weren't in such a situation. The two on the floor looked slightly older than the rest but were dangerously pulling his pants _down_.

"Do you think they can remember anything?" Zero asked, stifling a chuckle when the boy on Kaname's shoulder covered the purebloods eyes with his hands.

"Why don't you try asking?" Kaname asked back, a slight hint of annoyance in there.

Zero had not actually seen Kaname with kids… So far the most was with Yuki when they were much younger. But this was different. The pureblood was getting owned by kids in ways he never imagined possible, since Kaname was after all, high and mighty. And one of the kids in his hand pulled his hair.

Zero glanced down at a small blond standing at the height his knee and the boy looked back up with glittering emerald eyes.

"And you are…?" Already knowing the answer, but just asking for confirmation purposes.

"Ichijou Takuma!" He squeaked happily, tugging on Zero's pants again. The vampire had to lift his leg a little to avoid his pants from falling. "Nii-chan, you?"

Zero tossed a glance to Kaname, who shrugged back.

"Ate least they remembered who they are… I think", Kaname interrupted a little. He winced again as the _boy_ in his hand pulled his hair even harder. He jerked out of the grip and frowned at _him_, emitting a dangerous aura.

The _boy_ gave a cringed face of fear before bawling again.

"Kaname!" Zero hissed through grit teeth. He could understand the annoyance but it still was not _right_ to scare a child like that.

"You make Ruka-chan cry!!" The tallest of the kids yelled and tried to run over to the pureblood, but only ended in a heap on the floor as he tripped on the oversized pants. He did not cry though. He picked himself up and braced the few more steps to reaching Kaname, raising his much shorter arms and trying to get the younger kid held captive in Kaname's arm.

"You can't possibly mean this… _boy_ here is Ruka?" Kaname blurted slightly.

Kaname had only met these friends of his when they were much older. Needless to say, he had no idea how they _looked_ like, or even _acted_ like in the past. But for Ruka to be looking so boyish even with the long hair… Kaname almost fainted as the thought of Ruka being a little princess _then_.

"Who's a boy?! Ruka-chan is the cutest girl in the whoooole world! So stop bullying her you big meanie! In the name of the Akatsuki family, you will pay for making her cry!!!"

And obviously, the kid(s) were clueless they were up against their big boss.

"Kain?!" Zero said in shock. The face was really similar and the voice resembled a squeaky version of the older Kain's voice, but to actually _think_ that Kain had such an… attitude when he was young was highly shocking.

"Kaname, you did mention to me before that… when you're young status isn't that… essential, was it?" Zero asked quietly.

Kaname gave Ruka to Kain willingly and the vampire, despite his small size, held onto Ruka like a gigantic teddy bear, but Ruka did settle down and that was the important bit.

He nodded in reply to the other's question, and found Takuma bouncing around happily.

"Ne, so what are you twos names?" He asked again, seemingly quite friendly.

Kaname deliberately ignored the question, instead hoping on the second-lasting attention span of most kids to ask: "Do you know all of their names?"

Takuma skipped a few times about the room, laughing as if it was a joke. He stopped beside Kain and Ruka(whose feet were practically being dragged along the floor due to Kain's height).

"This is Kain-kun and Ruka-chan!" The small blond shifted his gaze to the two kids in Zero's arms. "Aido-kun and Rima-chan!" Turning to Kaname, he pointed to the last one sitting on his shoulder. "Shiki-kun!"

Kain looked like Kain, just a prefect miniature version of the tall vampire(just waddling about). Ruka's image was explained. Ruka looked as girl as ever. Takuma had little change but it was Rima, Aido and Shiki who shocked the (older) vampires.

Aido was not blond as he was supposed to be. His hair was in a soft shade of brown and the eyes were red, slightly lighter than the colour of their eyes when a bloodlust hit them. The only thing identifiable of the boy being Aido was probably the distinct cheek curve and chin angle. As for Shiki, the small boy was _even smaller_, looking no more than five. However, his eyes were large and bright and his hair retained its 'normal' colour.

"Okay…" Zero put the Aido and Rima down on the couch and took a deep breath. "Before we storm into Cross's office or hunt down sensei…" he said, clearly sensing the pureblood's discomfort and intentions with a guess. "We have got to get them in something a little more appropriate to wear."

Kaname gently pulled away the tiny hands which blocked his vision again and heard Shiki squealing with delight, thinking it was fun and tried to do it again.

Zero coughed away the laughter, waiting for Kaname's decision.

"That would be a good idea."

Amazingly, the children followed the two like ducklings. As they were going up the stairs though, a few of them tripped on their clothing and almost rolled down the stairs. If it weren't for Kaname being a backup the kids would be getting more than just bruises.

Shiki had the pleasure of remaining on Kaname's shoulder, mainly because he was still really small and could hardly even crawl up a step. Oddly Aido's hand was latched onto Zero's. Takuma was happily leading the other kids up, hand in hand with Rima who whined time to time about being tired. Kain was still carrying Ruka and made his life harder.

When they were (finally) on the second floor, they split into two – Kaname took the two girls while Zero took the four boys. Since Kaname was supposedly better with dealing with girls as he did when Yuki was younger, Zero let him.

The hunter took Shiki and somehow Aido became jealous and started squabbling to be carried as well Zero had no choice but to do so.

"When you're done I think I'd be needing help", Zero sighed, his head edging away from Shiki's killer mini-hands. From the corner of his eyes he saw Kain waving to the two girls and saying 'bye-bye'.

"_When_ I'm done", Kaname echoed and ushered the two girls to one of the rooms in which the two share.

Zero did the same with the guys, heading into the room Kain shared with Aido.

"Nii-chan, are you our dad?" Takuma suddenly asked.

Zero stifled a cough of surprise, shaking his head. "No."

"Mom!" Aido sounded and clenched onto Zero's shirt, tugging and hugging at the same time.

The latter's face turned red as he stuttered a 'no', about to explain how a _guy_ can't be a mother when Kain interrupted with a firm voice of his.

"If you're not our father you've got to be our mother, right? 'Cos only family members would help each other _change_ clothes."

"Look, I'm not your father or mother… but I do have to help you get out of those oversized clothing." Zero felt like a headache was starting to swarm. His arms were getting stiff from carrying the two kids and Takuma was running back and forth the corners of the room. "Takuma, stop that it's driving me nuts."

"Driving you nuts? What drives nuts?"

"Never mind. Just stop running around or you'll hurt yourself."

Zero placed the two kids on the bed and headed to one of the wardrobe, pulling out a few tops. He decided that he got to cut them, although sure that either Kain or Aido would kill him for doing so… but that was only possible _if _they become adults again, right?

"I like blue!" Takuma sang as he jumped on the bed.

"Hey! Don't do that you might fa-" Even before Zero finished his warning, the blond had slipped off the edge of the bed, falling back and landing on his butt first before the back of his head collided the carpeted ground.

Zero tossed aside the clothing and in a flash was beside Takuma, who started to tear, but not cry out loud.

"Don't do that ever again!" Zero half-ordered, gently easing away Takuma's hand from the back of his head and brushing his fingers lightly across. He felt a small bump growing.

"It huuuuurtss", Takuma sniffed.

"I'm sure it does", Zero rolled his eyes, although not meaning to be sarcastic. He picked Takuma up and placed him on the bed. After that, he gave a small peck onto the blond's forehead. "There? I've just kissed it better, no?"

Takuma blinked a few times before giving a wide smile, wrapping his tiny arms around Zero's neck unexpectedly.

The hunter wanted to shift away when he heard Kain speak.

"Are you sure you're not our mother?"

Zero somehow managed to keep his cool and stood up, carrying Takuma's slightly heavier form in his arms, since he was latched onto him like a leech.

"No, I'm not. Now give me a moment. I need to do a little something."

The hunter walked to a table and found a pair of scissors, which was what he needed. Takuma slipped off Zero and ran to sit on the bed.

Zero was thankful he was forced into home economics class by Yuki (for the first time). It took him a lot of trouble, but Zero managed to cut shirt sleeves and long pants to match the sized of the kids. He had to use safety pins for their waist bands, but that was the best he could do.

When he was done, he could not help but stifle a small laughter when the kids looked like Halloween was tomorrow.

Kain had to keep raising his arms so his shirt collar did not fall off his shoulders. Takuma was laughing and sweeping the floor with the end of his pants (Zero under-cut the length). Aido was tugging at the over-size shirt and only Shiki was oblivious, sucking his thumb.

"Don't do that", Zero gently scolded, brushing away the small hand. That moment, Shiki decided to latch his tiny fangs onto Zero's finger, getting a soft yelp from the hunter.

They felt like double pin-pricks and Zero retrieved his hand, nursing his finger. It did not hurt that much, but hell. Shiki's fangs were sharp as needles(them being really tiny).

Zero heard the door open and Kaname stepped in with the two girls, each of them in fluffy dresses. Zero was amazed how Kaname altered their clothing – they looked like they were meant for kids. And Ruka did look like Ruka now, hair tied up high with a ribbon.

Kaname placed the two girls onto the floor and they scuttled away, Ruka jumping on Kain and Rima went to sit beside Shiki on the bed.

"What happened?" Kaname asked, raising an eyebrow at the sight of Zero with his finger against his mouth.

"Nothing bad… Shiki just bit me", Zero sighed. The bleeding had stopped and the wound was pretty much closed.

Kaname took the chance when Zero was not looking, to stand before the hunter and take that very same finger into his mouth, licking and caressing it with his own tongue and fangs.

"Kaname!" Zero hissed and pushed the brunette away. He gave a soft yelp when Kaname held him in place with an arm around his waist, mouth still latched onto the finger.

Zero gulped. Kaname had better not be getting funny ideas in his head. There were kids all around them…

"Kiss it better!" Takuma suddenly cheered.

The two older vampires glanced over at the small blond who was clapping with glee.

"Um, no Takuma. That's not kissing", Zero corrected a little too quickly. He realised Kaname grinning evilly at him.

"Of course not. This is kissing", Kaname finished and crashed his lips against Zero's, earning a muffled protest from the hunter.

When they finally broke away, Zero was strangling the pureblood with a hand while the other was wiping his mouth in embarrassment. Kaname was chuckling and he peered to the side to see the kids with rather enormous eyes.

"Im fwo gohne fil hu", Zero uttered into his hand, turning his head away to hide the blush on his face.

"Hmm? What did you say?" Kaname asked, amusement in his voice.

"I'm so going to kill you!"

"Surely you do not mean it."

Zero flicked Kaname's forehead with his middle finger. He found out by doing that, Kaname usually let him go and once again, this flawless act had Zero free from the pureblood's arms.

"Let's go already", Zero grumbled, choosing to ignore the snaky arms which found him again all so lovingly.

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eh heh.. sorry for late update! was busy with my other fic XD thank you for reading please review! i promise this'll get funnier by the chapters. the next one ought to be hilarious XD gods Zero and kaname are so funny together. apologies for errors i don't really bother to check haha...

review please!!! and i will thank you for it XD


	3. Chapter 3

**Operation 3: Hilarity with Hunters**

Kaname and Zero had to bring _all_ the kids. They had initially opted to bring two or at most three to make their point when they were going to meet the headmaster, but nooo the kids had to be picky with whom they wanted to be accompanied with.

Kain refused to stay or leave without Ruka, and Ruka didn't want to be the only girl so Rima had to follow. If Rima followed, Takuma was following, vice-versa. Aido refused to leave Zero's side and Shiki was too young to be left alone.

You had no idea how pissed those two were.

It took them a full half-hour to decide to bring all of them.

The trip to the headmaster's office was more excruciating than pain. Kain tried to run away and Aido almost followed. Shiki's enjoyment in blinding Kaname cost the pureblood to stub his foot again a small, wooden stump. Zero hadn't been spared either – the two girls suddenly took to screaming when a lizard crossed their path, frantically trying to climb to the safety using Zero's height.

It took a lot, a lot of effort for the two to stay calm and not yell at the kids. Firstly, they were young(Zero preferred calling it 'immature'). Secondly, scolding them would only cause them to be frightened and they could all decide to run in six different directions.

Zero was also constantly reminded Kaname to keep his aura down.

When they finally reached the front of the headmaster's office, they breathed a loud sigh of relief.

When they did, Cross heard visitors and happily flung the door open.

"Hello you two…?" Cross blinked at the sight of the several kids. "My, my. Congratu-"

He got cut off when Zero punched him, quite painfully.

"DON'T even try saying that word!" Zero growled, slightly flushed. Kaname, diagonally behind him, chuckled into a hand.

Cross did know of their relationship and occasionally pushed his luck by saying things Zero was sure to get embarrassed or angry at. Kaname hardly bothered with the words of the headmaster, but found it amusing to see Zero's responses.

Cross, with teary eyes, rubbed his cheek. "But Zero! You've just made me glad I've got grand-"

Zero grabbed the headmaster by the front of his shirt and dragged him into the office. Kaname ushered the shocked kids into the room.

"They are NOT your grandchildren. Where the hell did you get that idea from anyway?!" Zero hissed after he heard the door shut behind.

Kaname continued chuckling silently. Zero was always rough with the headmaster. It was the opposite when they were in bed, however. Oh how tempted he was to let Cross know what Zero's weaknesses were…

Cross' face suddenly lit up despite pain. He raised a hand, pointed a finger to the ceiling. "Maybe you're following the new trend - adoption!"

Zero lost it, and tossed his god-father out the window.

Lucky for Cross, they were on the first storey. The unlucky thing was, there were thorny rose bushes growing outside his window, and Zero had the satisfaction of hearing the older man yowl in prickly pain.

Kaname had felt a little sorry for the man, and 'picked' the guy up, placing him back into the room. Zero huffed at the action and dropped himself onto the couch. He noticed that the kids were huddling in the corner of the room, suddenly fearing him.

Groaning, Zero buried his face into a hand.

"Alright, alright", Cross smiled, brushing away plant parts stuck onto his clothing. "So, what happened to these kids? Were they lost?"

"These _kids_, Headmaster Cross, are the living miniatures of the Night Class", Kaname replied.

Cross started adjusting his glasses and knelt before the six kids.

"It's not the first of April, is it?" He asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Where's Touga-sensei?" Zero suddenly demanded, not really sounding like a question.

"He went to grab some snacks. He ought to be back soon." Cross laughed when Ruka caught hold of his long pony tail. He thought it was cute, until she pulled and refused to let go.

Zero crossed his legs and sighed into his hand. From the corner of his eyes, he saw Aido approaching, together with Shiki. Kaname, who was half-heartedly attempting to make Ruka release the man's hair, noticed the two kids moving on their own accord as well.

The pureblood smiled when Aido suddenly demanded that he wanted to sit on Zero's lap, as Shiki did as well.

"Kaname, stop laughing", Zero growled although he let the kids did as they wanted to. In the end, Aido and Shiki were sitting on either leg and the hunter sulked, arms crossed.

Kaname gave up trying to save Cross, and instead went over to sit by Zero's side, sneakily having an arm across the other's shoulder.

"I'm rather jealous Zero. Ever since the kids arrived, you seemed to have abandoned me."

Zero threw Kaname a scowl (he wasn't in the best of mood, so excuse him).

"They've only been here for what? Less than two hours?"

"_My_ two hours. When they're normal again, I'll make sure there's compensation", Kaname grinned as he playfully tugged on Zero's ear cuff. The hunter jerked his head away from the annoying contact.

"Keep your hands to yourself."

"Now, why- ow!" Kaname pulled his hand back and saw two tiny spots of red on his hand. He looked up and found Shiki facing Zero, facing the shoulder Kaname had left his hand at.

Zero blinked in confusion at the sudden retreat.

"Senri bit me", Kaname said softly, out of surprise more than anger.

"He has a knack for biting. Don't worry, you're not the first", Zero assured, rolling his eyes. He pulled Shiki and made him sit on the couch beside him. He ushered Aido off as well when he heard his god-father crying.

"Zeroooo help meeee", came the cry.

Zero glanced up to see Ruka still holding his hair, but only half of it. Rima had the other half and the two girls were tying plaits on either side. Kaname had a look too.

A second later Zero burst out laughing despite his usual calmness and initial sullen mood. Kaname was shaking very, very hard against the back rest of the couch.

Even Kain and Takuma were laughing, adding to the noisy chorus.

"Don't laugh!!!" Cross cried out, frantically waving his arms but careful that he did not hit any of the two girls.

"Schoolgirl!" Rima giggled out to Ruka, who nodded and giggled as well.

Kaname got off the couch and walked to the girls, this time putting in a little more effort in dislodging the children. He managed to get all six of them to sit on the couch, squeezed in with Zero.

The hunter was giving the pureblood glares. In order for all seven to be accommodated on the two-seater, Shiki and Aido were back on his legs. Rima was beside him, then Takuma, then Ruka and finally Kain who decided to sit on the couch arm.

"One big happy family", Cross commented, undoing the plaits in his hair. "Shouldn't you join in, Kuran-kun?"

"Stop saying things like that", Zero growled.

"Maybe I should…" Kaname walked over to Zero, looking down at him.

Zero frowned, suspicious of what the pureblood was going to do.

"Wha…?!"

In half a heartbeat, Kaname had pulled Zero up with the two kids on his lap. Then, he settled himself on the couch quite comfortably, grabbing Zero by his waist and forcing Zero back down, just sitting between his legs. Shiki and Aido were oblivious of the change, since their eyes couldn't catch the high speed movement. The one-second episode ended which Zero sandwiched between Kaname and two clueless kids.

"Hell, I am _not_ going to be sitting like this", Zero hissed over his shoulder.

"Why not? I'm pretty comfortable here", Kaname replied, having an arm around Zero's waist.

Zero grumbled but gave up, leaning stiffly back against Kaname, arms crossed.

Cross was pretty used to the odd form of affection Kaname openly displayed. Actually, there were a few times when the word 'embarrassing' never existed in that pureblood's dictionary. Although, the sight before him was cute, he mentally admitted.

The two vampires heard footsteps and Zero froze. He recognized the beat of the footsteps and attempted to get off Kaname, but the pureblood didn't let go.

"Kana-"

"_Too-san_!! I got the Sun dorm settled-" Yuki paused at the doorway. She stared at the crowded couch, mind processing the unfamiliar faces until she saw two she knew. "That's a lot of children."

"Yuki! No, it's not what you think", Zero frantically tried to explain, because if he didn't, Yuki would start jumping to her own conclusions.

Yuki raised the few sheets of paper in her hand and shielded her wide grin. "What's _not_ what I think?"

"Well, that is…uh…" The hunter had a sudden loss of words. He freaked out too badly at that point in time and forgot whatever he wanted to say.

"A misunderstanding, Yuki. There is a perfect reason for the existence of them", Kaname helped out.

"Oh reeeally?"

"Yes", Zero said quickly. Aido slipped off Zero's leg and ran to Yuki, catching all the adults by surprise.

"Ne-chan!" He called out, raising his arms.

"You know, I think it is what I think", Yuki sneered as she picked Aido up, although she did not know that.

Zero picked himself onto his feet, taking Shiki along. This time Kaname let him, laying back on the couch with an elbow on the armrest and placing his chin in his palm. Rima made a crawl to replace Zero's spot and Kaname got amused by the kids' demand for attention.

"That kid there is Aido. This is Shiki", Zero started.

Yuki blinked. "Wow, you even named your children after the guys?"

Zero felt like burying his head into sand.

"No! They _are_ the guys! They just got turned into kids. "

"Really?!"

"Yes, so stop taking us as family."

"Mom!" Aido called out again, one hand reaching for Zero.

The hunter buried his face in a hand, trying hard to ignore Cross and Yuki's laughter.

"No, I am not your mom", Zero muttered back. "She's not here."

Then he realized it was not the best words to say to a child, because Aido started to tear and cry.

"Zero!" Yuki scolded.

"I didn't mean to…"

"Well, you made him cry", Yuki huffed and passed Aido to the other. "So you make him stop."

"Wha? What am I supposed to do?"

"Kiss it better!" Takuma sounded from the couch and Zero cringed in partial fury. Maybe that had been a bad line to say. Takuma seemed to be saying it when someone got hurt or started to cry.

Kaname was busy chuckling as he half-listened to the on-going conversation.

Just when Zero thought the situation could just be worse…

Touga was standing at the doorway, in his hands several bags of packed bentos.

"Zero, you must be one hell of a baby making machine."

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EXAMS ARE OVER!!! MEANING QUICKER UPDATES OMGGGG hahahahah rejoice people!!!

cough ahem anyway. I think Zero overreacted a lot in this chappie XD but you can't blame him. I'd so do the same if i were in his position XP anwayway. REVIEW!!! I think this chap is a wee bit funnier, but some shorter. Touga's line at the last bit... guess what Zero's going to do? haha....

Review and I MIGHT consider updating quicker -evil grin-


	4. Chapter 4

I AM SO FRIGGIN SORRY. Holy crap it was almost three months O.O You could say i neglected this... -smacks self- Anywho. This would probably be the chapter which caused the story to be put under the 'M' rating XDD I really, rally apologise and thank you so, so, so much for keeping up. AND FOR ALL THE REVIEWS ZOMG. I further apologise this might be a short chapter XD i'm actually just making fun of Zero lol. haha... shall not dwell on any longer -cough-

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**Chapter 4: Bentos, Birds and Bees**

Touga was hanging upside down from the ceiling, being a one-night punching bag.

No that didn't happen. Wait, you actually believed that? Think again.

Zero had been unsuccessful because Aido was crying. It became the priority of that moment, because if Aido was going to cry, the rest might to join in. After receiving a scolding from Yuki, Zero sulked on the couch, with Kaname being a twit and not helping him (emotionally) by forcing him to sit in his lap again.

Aido had stopped crying, enjoying his place in Zero's arms. Yuki had picked Shiki up and was wildly amused with the child's antics of nipping at whatever he could get.

"Sensei, you knew that this would happen, didn't you?" Zero growled.

"I have no idea what you're talking about, stupid pupil", Touga replied, popping a tempura into his mouth.

Abruptly, Zero stood up from Kaname, taking Aido along with him in a hand while pointing to the bags of bento on Cross' table.

"Then what's with the purchase of ten bento sets?!"

"I was feeling hungry", the headmaster sounded.

Zero threw a glare at his adoptive father. "You _knew_ it too. Don't lie."

Cross gave a hesitant laughed and hide behind his table, taking one of the bento sets and started to open the upper case. "Well, let's just eat, shall we? I'm sure the kids are hungry", Cross said. "Kain, Ruka, Rima, Takuma, Shiki and Aido, are any of you hungry yet?"

Five of the six said yes. Without further ado, Cross gave each of them a bento(except Shiki) and the all sat around the coffee table before the couch, happily and messily eating the food. Apparently 'etiquette' had yet to exist in their dictionary.

Zero returned to his sulking mode on the couch and Kaname was halfway to being in the same state, but composure was of slightly more importance. Thus he took to venting on Zero and added to the hunter's misery by using Zero's lap as pillow, arm thrown over his forehead.

Cross was not exactly happy of Kaname misusing his couch but he knew better than to tell Kaname off when he was not in a good mood. But the pureblood's legs were annoyingly hanging over the armrest of the couch…

"Maa, come on Zero. Don't blame them. It's not their fault after all", Yuki said a while later. She was standing near the chairman's table, swinging a tempura about while she held the tail. "Besides, the gas will only last for a short while."

Zero huffed, but Kaname lifted his arm and averted his gaze at her, quite intently.

"Yuki…" Kaname suddenly said in a very creepy voice. His younger sister froze and realized she had let something slip. Awkwardly, she turned her head away and started chewing on her tempura.

"Ah ha ha ha. Look at the time. I'd better go make sure the students are back in their rooms…"

"It was your doing, wasn't it?" Kaname continued. None of them in the room mentioned anything about the _gas_ before, so how would have Yuki known…?

Zero tossed a glance at Yuki, catching her give a 'geh' noise.

"You mean Yuki was the one who gave the mission?" Zero said out loud.

Slowly, Yuki turned around, placing a hand behind her head and giving the widest smile she could.

"Well, I thought it would give you two some real life simulation if you had kids…?" Yuki shrugged.

"Just great", Zero grumbled. "Now why in the world did you have to do that?"

"Well, you know, I really wouldn't mind be an aunt right now."

"You're only 17!"

"That's right! I want to be a grandfather too!" Cross pouted, before a gunshot rang off in the room and dissipated with a hole in the wall near the chairman's head. Cross started freaking out.

"Who do you think we are?" Zero grumbled, putting his gun on the couch as his other hand raked his hair back.

"Fe heyhe rahing rahin (the baby making machine)," Touga said with his mouth full. Zero glared as hard as he could at his teacher.

"Well, a kid _would_ be good, Zero! I mean, think about it! You feed him, bring him out for walks, tuck him into bed…" Yuki trailed off, dreaming away.

"You make 'him' sound like a dog… I wonder if you'll ever get married, Yuki," Zero sneered evilly. Kaname was also chuckling at the insult/joke and at Yuki's embarrassed face.

"N-no! You'll teach him stuff! How to read, how to speak… and once he hits the appropriate age it'll be the birds and the bees!"

The hunter on the couch started choking. "Wha-?!"

"Well, yeah. You're going to have to tell them about it eventually!"

"Birds and bees!!" Aido happily said out loud, bit of food flying out of his mouth.

"I don't like bees," Ruka told Rima, who nodded back.

"Hold that thought!" Zero interrupted quickly. "That's a very farfetched thought. Why in the world are you getting up to… _there_?"

"What problem is there?" Touga snorted. "Vampires are very open about sexuality… seeing as their lust for sex is possibly greater than blood."

"Sensei, there are _kids_ in the room," Zero growled softly. "Could we keep off the… mature stuff already?"

"What's 'lust'?" Kain asked after swallowing his food.

"Yeah, yeah and what's 'sex'?" Takuma asked after.

"Well, lust is – pmh!" Touga got cut off when a book was smacked into his face, courtesy of his student.

Yuki giggled into her hand and squatted at the coffee table where the kids were sitting at. "Well, you're a little bit too young to know, but 'lust' is something similar to 'like'," she made up.

"Sex is… 'go at it like bunnies', you know?" Touga continued after tossing the book onto the chairman's table. He ignored the glare coming from Zero. "It's intimate… like kissing."

"Really?" A few of the kids sounded after each other.

Takuma's grin suddenly widened. "Then nii-chans lust to go at it like bunnies!!!"

(A/N: replace 'lust' with like and 'go at it like bunnies' with kiss. That was the intended sentence XD)

….

….

….

"HUH?"

"Sen…sei….." Zero growled under his breath. "WHY THE HELL DID YOU HAVE TO SAY THAT?!" He roared, face redder than the ripest of tomatoes. (A/N: He didn't have the heart to yell at Yuki, so he pushed it all to Touga)

Kaname was laughing into his hand, as Cross and Yuki were too.

"Stop laughing!" The younger hunter hissed down at his lover. The brunette pillowing his lap glanced up with a smile on his face.

With little effort, he lifted his upper half while pulling Zero down and placed a chaste kiss on his lips. Then, he got off the couch, straightening his clothes, leaving a stunned Zero on the couch.

"I bet they work harder than the Duracell bunnies", Cross jokingly whispered to his friend, who chuckled.

Zero heard that about three seconds later and pulled his gun out, firing at the wall between the two adults. Cross then feinted fainting.

"I've had enough. When will they return to normal, _Touga_," Zero asked, using his teacher's name out of annoyance. He kept his gun after.

"In a few hours, depending on how much the contact is between the gas and the… vampires." And yet another tempura got munched away.

"In any way, I think it's best we return to the Moon Dormitory, just in case any of them decides to turn back all of a sudden," Kaname sighed. The young vampires were also done with their bentos, anyway.

"I just want to get out of here," Zero scoffed.

"The kids will be there, Zero-kun!" Cross sounded. "Remember not to do anything you _lust_(like)!"

"DIE!!!"

* * *

The next chapter would be the last XD It's really short but I hope you like it anyway.

Please **Review**!! But also do not dishearten if I seem like taking forever to update -sweats- I really thank you all -bows-

For** VAMPIRE KNIGHT FANARTS**, please go to my profile page and click on my homepage XD KanameXZero you know... -squeals-


	5. Chapter 5

And here, is the last chapter of Operation: Vampire Children. I hope you've enjoyed reading this as much as I've written it!! Please leave a comment by the end of this. I'd really appreciate it :D  


* * *

"Nii-chan, are you two going to get married?"

"Is it possible to do that?!"

"Of course! Even though you're homo, you can."

"Who's homo, you little-"

"Zero, calm down."

Everyone was in Kaname's large room. Zero sat crossed legged on the bed, laying a heavy head on his palm while his elbow dug into the side of his knee. Kaname was behind him, leaning comfortably against the hunter's back. His legs were nicely outstretched across the horizontal length of the bed, crossed at the ankle. The kids were littered around them on the bed and floor as well, but Kaname didn't mind.

"Are you really not our mother?" Aido asked, taking to sit beside the gloomy prefect.

"Aido, your mom is out at the moment. Zero isn't your mother," Kaname said gently, partially due to laziness. Lying against Zero's warm back, accompanied by the all-too familiar scent of him, made it almost a natural sleep inducer.

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Lying to a kid… You're rather mean, Kaname," Zero silently whispered with a small smile, after Aido hopped to the floor and ran after Rima.

"Who do you think made me this mean?"

"Yourself?"

Kaname shifted all of a sudden, catching Zero by surprise. The pureblood reached back and pushed Zero down, causing the hunter's legs to flail in the air for a second or two. Zero was too stunned to react in time, giving a small 'oof' when his back hit the bed.

By the time he recovered, Kaname's head was on his stomach, forcing him to remain.

"You have a death wish?" Zero grumbled.

"I do…" Kaname smiled, looking up at the ceiling. "It's to be with you forever."

Zero blushed. It wasn't uncommon to hear Kaname say such unusual, almost cheesy stuff, but even so… Every time he said something like that it never failed to make him feel all embarrassed.

"Right… "He mumbled on.

"You two are getting married!" Ruka exclaimed at the side of the bed. Zero looked over towards the female vampire, his face in a greater shade of red and tried to deny it, but Kaname stopped him.

"Yes, very soon."

"Kaname your jokes aren't getting any funnier," Zero said, almost pouting. He got up on his elbows and partially overlooked the pureblood's head, which continued pillowing his stomach.

Kaname looked up with his brown eyes, staring into lilac ones, seriously. "Who said that was a joke?"

Zero was dumbfounded. Kaname couldn't possibly mean that… they…

Takuma, who had long settled at a corner of the bed, started clapping with glee. "Yay! A wedding!"

Zero was redder than any tomato. A hand went to shield his mouth, looking as if he was trying to prevent himself from bursting out loud. Both vampires' gazes were still locked onto each others, unable to tear away.

Kaname smiled and reached up, brushing the back of his hand against Zero's cheek. "Now that you've mentioned it, I've done the proposal in a very inappropriate position, didn't I?"

"What?! No, it's not… inappropriate…" Zero mumbled into his hand. "I'm just… surprised…"

"True, it could be too early…" Kaname sighed. "But everything would seem too late for a vampire… I felt that if I didn't do it now, the next chance might be thousands of years away."

"But… why now…?"

Kaname got off Zero, and turned to Zero's semi-raised form. He leaned over, placing a kiss on Zero's forehead. "Because I don't want to hide you any longer. You're every pride, and every part of who I am. I want to let everyone in the Night Dormitory, in the school… Hell, I'd give everything to ensure that the whole world knows that I love you."

Zero felt his heart leaping against his chest much harder than needed. His face burned hotter than a flame. Kaname was proposing to him. No, Kaname was practically announcing it. He couldn't explain how he felt, but he was suddenly aching to pull the pureblood into an embrace.

"So, Zero…" Kaname bent over, bringing their lips to brush against each other's. "Will you marry me?"

Zero couldn't help but smile unusually widely. A small chuckle escaped him, as he cleared the tiniest of distance between their lips. "Yes."

"A wedding! A wedding!"

"Kiss! Kiss!"

Zero would've gotten annoyed by the children's antics, but he didn't have the heart to do that at the moment. Somewhere inside, he rather appreciated that these kids were around. Frankly, there _were_ amusing times. The past six hours wasn't too bad after all.

The six children started yawning all of a sudden, which was odd, considering that they were vampires and that they slept at night. But, they were up the entire day…

"Kaname, I think we should bring them to their rooms," Zero suggested.

"Yes, I think we should."

The two vampires proceeded to bring the youngsters into their respective rooms, tucking them into bed.

When they got back into Kaname's room, they flopped onto the bed, feeling pretty exhausted themselves.

"That was fun," commented the pureblood.

Zero snuggled against him, resting the side of his face on Kaname's chest and listened to the calm, rhythmic heartbeat.

"Maybe." Zero almost purred at the feel of Kaname's fingers gently stroking his hair.

"You do remember me saying that I'd be requesting compensation from them?"

Zero laughed. "Provided that they even remember 'using' your time…"

"I'll make sure they will…"

---  
Takuma and Shiki's room.

"Takuma," a soft voice called out. The redhead shook the blonde's shoulder, trying to urge him awake. "Takuma."

"Ngh? Huh? Shiki? What time is it?" The vice-dorm leader groaned.

"It's already seven."

Takuma immediately jumped out of bed. "What?! Why didn't my alarm go off at five?"

"I don't know but… I woke because of a weird dream."

Takuma scratched his head, as Shiki came to sit beside him. "Come to think of it, I think I had one too."

"Really? Mine is regarding the dorm leader and Kiryuu."

"What a coincidence! So was mine!"

The two vampires heard thundering footsteps towards their room and the door swung open, quite roughly.

"Takuma!! Shiki!!" Aido yelled at the top of his lungs. "I had to worst nightmare ever!!" The blond clutched his own shoulders and shuddered. "Kiryuu was… Kiryuu was carrying me for god's sake!"

"What? That sounds cute."

"Not according to him when he said _he's_ the one who wanted it." Kain walked up from behind, yawning.

"Takuma save me!!!"

"Now that you've mentioned it, I did something pretty… odd myself…" Shiki silently mused. "I think I bit the dorm leader and Kiryuu."

"You WHAT?!?!" Aido roared.

Kain scratched the back of his head. "I think I did something bad too. Somehow I think I told the dorm leader off…"

"Kain you back stabber!"

"I'm not the one wanting a piggy back ride."

"It wasn't a piggy back ride!!" Aido hissed, face flushed.

"I think I somehow made fun of them," Takuma laughed away, ignoring the playful strangle Aido was doing.

"So, what of the girls?" Shiki asked.

"They locked themselves in their rooms. Not sure why, but I think they were complaining something about their horrible dressings…" Kain shrugged.

"Noo why does the nightmare seem so real!!" Aido continued moaning.

"Maybe it was real," Takuma replied.

"Why'd you say so?" The other three asked.

"Look at our clothing, guys. They are definitely not our pajamas."

All of them looked at each other's rugged clothing for a moment or two before Aido started bawling.

"Then I didn't hear wrong?! Kaname-sama and Kiryuu are… are…"

"Whoah."

"My dream was pretty clear… and yes, Aido I think the dorm leader and Kiryuu are getting married."

"I WILL NOT LET THAT HAPPEN!!!"

----  
Kaname's Room

Both the vampires on the bed sneezed.


End file.
